Calisa Rhose ~ Stressed Over Stress
Osiyo~
Happy 4th of July to my American friends! Yeah, I know it’s early, but I changed my Ranch décor and wanted to share with you all. 😆
I’ve been thinking about stress today. I stress out over everything from what to wear to the dr. (I had my bi-annual mammogram Monday) to whether hubby is getting too hot at work, to how long my horse might live-he’s twenty-one this spring. I know, I’m pathetic. LOL
But it got me thinking about stress and the affects it has on us. Headaches, nervous energy, that isn’t really energy at all as adrenaline with nowhere to go, mood swings–ok, that could be hormones–and irritability, which could also be attributed to hormones…
I mean, what am I supposed to do about housework that is not getting done, laundry–hubby has already said he 
refuses to go to work in his birthday suit. I don’t know why! A little sun never hurt anyone. *shrugs* Okay, maybe he doesn’t look like that anymore, but in my eyes he still does. 🙂 And he doesn’t lay around looking sexy and drool-worthy all day, he’s in remodel and construction, but still–
Anyway, I’m trying not to allow myself to stress over everything and that’s hard. I try getting away from the house to relax, but then I worry about FIL at home. What if some clueless driver hits my car and I can’t get home and something happens? It never ends. I can (and do) stress over stressing. I’m the best stresser there will ever be. I should be bald! 🙂
I stress about my writing, not getting word count down, what I should say on Facebook or Twitter and how much time I don’t spend on G+, or Pinterest and how little I seem to do with my account (I knew that was a bad idea for someone like me!), what promotional tools work, and which don’t, and how I can improve on the ones I do have. I forget about Triberr for days at a time! Yeah, another bad idea for me. 
Sorry Tribemates, kick me out now! Please?
All this stress! Oy. The worst part is half the time I don’t even realize I’m stressing. But I know I could alleviate at least some of it if I would just shut my brain down and BICHOK. But then I stress over interruptions at crucial moments…that can’t happen IF I DON’T WRITE! And before I know it a day has wasted and all I have to show for it is…nothing. Wait… Does three pages count?
Face it. We are made to stress. That’s what says we’re alive and caring people. That’s my theory. If we didn’t care, we wouldn’t sweat anything. Right? So my question to you is, what do you do to de-stress and does it work?
Thanks for stopping by to witness my meltdown. I adore you all. 😀
Dodadagohvi~
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Posted on 06/27/2013, in Pen of the Dreamer, Promotion and tagged Calisa Rhose, Pen of the Dreamer, stress, work, Writing. Bookmark the permalink. 27 Comments.
I write contemporary and paranormal romance, with sensuality as the key ingredient and spice for kick.
Pen of The Dreamer 
p.s Love the fireworks! Happy 4th!
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All I can say is: Amen sista! And at the moment I do nothing to de-stress, so have nothing to recommend to you. Although, I love a glass of wine at the end of the night after my two tassy devils are finally asleep, but really, reading at the end of the night in bed is the most relaxed I get. From an early am start with the youngest, I pile in as much as I can until my eyes will no longer stay open. I swear, I haven’t relaxed in two years. (As my youngest screams in the other room) Okay, gots to go!
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Yeah, those little ones have a way of keeping us hopping, don’t they, CD? Thanks for sharing your stress. 🙂
I’m happy the fireworks work! 😀 Thanks.
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I wear my stress on my shoulders. Literally. My neck kinks and I feel pain in my left shoulder. It’s worse when I don’t get my word count in. Although I’ve stopped actually counting my words since it only added stress on the days I didn’t hit the magic threshold. But I feel it when I haven’t put enough BICHOK time in.
We’re having big time stress in the fact that my husband’s job search is taking longer than we planned. So I try to de-stress by watching baseball. But my team is not doing well right now, so it’s stressful. But I think it also helps in that I can rage against the TV, rant with other fans and on those seemingly too rare occasions where they do come from behind, I can think “see, it will get better” both for my team and my family.
When that doesn’t work, I grab a book, a beer and a bath.
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I have to go to the store in a while and wine is on my list. The only problem with that is I don’t get any work done when drinking. LOL I don’t watch sports often so that won’t help me. I hope hubby’s job search turns out a winner soon for ya’ll. That should do wonders for you. Thanks for dropping in!.
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I’ll raise a “me too, me too” wave to those sentiments, Calisa. Balancing work, family, writing, social-PR-for-writing, laundry and everything else is always a stressful dance. Like everyone else, I fall back on exercise and sleep. It’s a zen thing for me. I belong to a local community center, and I try to swim as often as I can. No interruptions. 🙂
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I wish we had a local pool or activity I could get into. We do have a local square dance crew, but hubby has two left feet and won’t dance. 🙂 I love your style though.
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Wow, I thought I was reading MY biography with your post! I stress over stressing, as you say. Finally took a cd class with Lucinda Bassett on anxiety and she said not to even bother with the class if I wasn’t going to take caffeine out of my life and insert exercise and relaxation. So, I did as she told me and I’m so much better now. I ride my indoor or outdoor bike every single day (I love riding around here cause it’s flat and not many cars) and I don’t drink coffee in the morning any longer and I listen to a short meditation tape as well as practice yoga every other day. I’m taking care of myself and feel better about “me”.
Good luck with whatever you choose to do for yourself. You’re worth it.
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No coffee?!? Oh boy- I’ve already failed that one just thinking about it! LOL I have cut my caffeine down a while back however. I’d love to ride a bike, indoor or out door, but I don’t have an indoor one and there’s really no place to ride outside. I’d ride my horse, but he’s having a little foot issue, and age…he’s old. 🙂 Thanks for your suggestions!
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Reading your post stressed me out because I have loads of laundry with my name on them on top of everything else I have to do today… Sheesh. But I think it’s important not to let the stress paralyze you. You got to keep chipping away at the things you can control, and at a certain point set aside the things you can’t. Easier said than done, of course. Best of luck! Your stress tells me you have a big heart–take care of it!
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Thanks for the tips, Elise. I need to relax more I think. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
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Calisa, I love this post. You’ve hit the nail on the head, as have many of the comments here. I’ve always believed I work better under pressure. I think the old adage is find a busy woman when you want to get things done.
Finding a way to decompress is key. Yoga, as D.B. mentioned, a quick walk around the block (heart disease is a top killer of women, exercise is important) anything to get moving and release the pressure. Even just laps around your yard can help. I put upbeat tunes on Pandora and dance around my desk when the stress mounts (hello Jimmy Buffet). Plus, I make my husband vacuum (hey- it’s got a motor) which cuts down on housework.
If it helps, compartmentalize the things that stress you, and only pull one out at a time. Men are supreme rulers at this idea. Has something to do with their waffle brains. Delegate each concern to a specific time during the day. And set a time length on how long you get to worry over it. Get out a kitchen timer, set it for three minutes and once it dings, put the problem away. It won’t work every time, but setting limits will help to release some of the stress and let you focus on the things that are most important.
Best wishes. If I could take the stress away from you I would.
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Tai chi… I can look into that too. Thanks Sandy.
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You’re a gem, Gemma! I actually gave my kitchen a good cleaning today and it took my mind off everything for a few hours because I didn’t let my self think while I cleaned. 🙂 I took advantage of my full Saturday and loved it! Now I have edits to work on tonight for a bit. Compartmentalize and timers huh? I’ll have to try that! Thank you for stopping in!
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If we didn’t stress a little, nothing would get done. Ever. But too much is …too much. When I get stressed I ask myself “Will this matter in a hundred years?” Puts things into perspective. Do what you can and let the rest go. I also started Tai Chi; it’s a great stress reliever.
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Calisa, I’m convinced it’s because writers these days are stretched too thin. Marketing, Facebook, Twitter, blog – and a home, a husband, in some instances children and/or a job – it’s too much to expect of mere humans. I’ve read one lady’s comment that she spends 12 hours a day on the computer! Talk about stress – that’s bad enough if you’re youngish and healthy, but I’m 72 and feeling it. Oh for the days when the publishers did all this stuff for you. But alas, the world has changed and we’re stuck with it. Let’s do what we can do and not worry about what we can’t.
Physical exercise is definitely a tonic and a way to relax the mind. I go into the garden; doing mindless things like pulling weeds helps. And reading something I enjoy. I refuse to feel guilty because I’m not writing – well, most of the time anyway!
Take the best care of yourself you can.
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I applaud you for weeding, Monya! It’s just too hot or too cold here to even be outside most days. lol We rarely get spring or fall anymore. I do need exercise however. But I agree, as authors we have too, too much do keep up with and I can’t see any way around that at the moment…other than to stop writing, which I can’t do. 🙂 Thanks for your thoughts!
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Wow, I can definitely relate to this post – we all have so much to juggle these days, and I feel guilty when I’m not doing something productive. Yoga has been working for me as a way to de-stress. I started it about 8 months ago and try to carve out an hour a week (two if the stars align and I’m really lucky) for a class. That moment at the end, after I’ve stretched myself into contortions I never thought possible, is the best feeling. Sprawled out on the mat and just focusing on breathing and, well, being, helps balance out the chaos and stress waiting for me back at the office.
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I wish I could do that. I don’t stretch or bend in normal positions! LOL
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I gave up twitter! Yes, I know we are supposed to get our names out there, but I decided my facebook and blog are all I can handle. Yes, its a little one liner maybe once a day, but some days I couldn’t even think of that. I didn’t just want to keep retweeting other peoples stuff, and I was stressing over finding time to read the tweets of others.
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Exactly, Charlotte! And then I caved and added Triberr and Pinterest this year when I barely manage FB and Twitter. I’d have to ditch Triberr before Twitter though, I think. Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
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first, love the fireworks! Happy 4th-a-little-early to you, too!
And I get you. When I try not to stress out, I stress out over how not to stress…it’s a cycle. I hit the pool or put in my earbuds and listen to happy-dappy music. I hope you find something that works for you…hugs!!!
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OK- I want a pool! LOL Thanks for stopping by, Kristina.
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Oh, Calisa, you hit the nail on the head with this post. First, I’m so sorry you’re going through all that stress, but hey, I can sooo relate! I think women are far more prone to run on a relentless hamster-wheel of stress than men. Sadly, stress can really take a toll on your health.
Lately, I’ve been stressing that I don’t have enough hours in the day to work on my writing, I’m woefully neglectful of Facebook (why the #@!&* I should stress over FB is beyond me, but there it is). The housework piles up, I’ve got a blog tour coming up in August and September that I need to prepare for, I’m not writing enough (did I mention that?), not exercising enough, not visible enough online *sigh* *sigh* *sigh*
But I do de-stress by relaxing with hubby and taking leisurely breaks in my pool. That’s my evening/weekend sanity. Of course then I stress that I’m slouching off, LOL!
Hugs to you, my friend! Hang in there. You are not alone in the whirlwind of stress. Sometimes venting is the best thing for it!
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We don’t have a pool, unless the blow-up one we got for the grandbabies last year counts. lol But I know I bring a lot of this on myself. I also know only I can make it better if I can just find a way. Hugs back at ya. Thanks hon.
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Oh sweet pea! Ohhh…this is not good. I do have to say that I’m right there with you, though. I stress about everything. No matter the news–good or bad–I’m stressing. Then in January of this year my heart started doing the tango in my chest and I got REALLLY stressed. Turns out all the worry gave me PVCs (pre-ventricular contractions). Mine are harmless but boy are they ever annoying..and uncomfortable. The one thing that has really helped is exercise. I know that sounds horrible (GAH!) but it has really helped. I’m up to six miles a day on my bike and you know what? Besides *wanting* to ride every day (like seriously, I can’t wait to take my bike ride) I feel stronger, am sleeping better and my anxiety level has come way, way down–which is a miracle in it’s own right. I hope you learn a way to help with the worry! I don’t like to hear you are stressed!! Big hugs coming your way!!
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I’m so happy you found a relief of sorts for your PVCs. I’d ride a bike if I had a safe place to ride, but where we live are narrow roads with no shoulders, and lots of hills you can’t see, or be seen, over until it’s too late. I am way to chicken to play chicken. lol I’m thinking of ways around my stress and believe it or not, doing dishes helps sometimes. Only, I hate dishes. 🙂
Thanks for your input sweetie!
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