It’s been three years since I sold my first book. It’s been three and a half years that my fil has been living with us. That’s how long it’s been since I was able to go and do what I needed or wanted without restrictions, a time line for returning home. See fil couldn’t be alone very long at any given time, so any time I went out, whether to go shopping, visiting or with hubby, I knew before I left that I had about two to three hours before I’d need to be back. Just in case. In case something happened, he had another stroke, he wanted to cook on the stove, in case of any number of reasons, I had to be home.
It’s strange now to go somewhere with anyone and not have that restriction to hurry back. I didn’t mind the restrictions for the most part, I was glad hubby had that special time with his dad that I didn’t have with my own. But it made it hard to go anywhere over night, like to visit our daughter when they still lived in Colorado, or to my brothers’ in St. Louis. Now I find myself thinking I need to get back soon, when I don’t. It’s a good feeling, yet strange, and a little sad.
Youngest daughter and I went to see fil this morning and we were both relieved he seems to be integrating into his new home, making acquaintances with other residents and the staff. He was in a light mood, laughing and chatting with us. No, we didn’t always understand what he was saying (he lost his speech with the first stroke), but he was trying to interact. He gave us the in depth tour of the game area today. Board games, puzzles, books, pool table, computers, and even stopped to tease one of the directors in her office. That’s a very good sign.
So for today’s letter I have to embrace and learn how to be free and Unrestricted, and plan my days around that again. I plan to make the most of this as soon as the current remodel is done in a week or so.